Shannan Blum, Coach & LMFT

Introduction: 

Step right up, ladies and gents, if you like the theater, join me as we catch a show from the world of The Karpman Drama Triangle. It’s like a theater of dysfunction where people don disguises and play the roles of victims, persecutors, and rescuers. 

But hang tight! In this captivating tale, we’ll reveal the secrets of this psychological model and show you how to steer clear of toxic relationships. Get ready to unmask the drama and reclaim your sanity!

The Drama Triangle was created by a Transactional Analysis guru from the ‘70s named Dr. Stephen Karpman – and the dude nails it here! Keep in mind, like any theater production the characters are roles, not identities. That’s the good news, so you know it’s not a permanent status. 

Drama Triangle Roles: The Victim – When Life Plays Hardball

In the drama triangle, the Victim is a pro at feeling powerless and seeking sympathy from others. They believe their problems are caused by everything and everyone and struggle even questioning if they have any role in their own problems. It’s the classic “woe is me” act that could give even Shakespeare a run for his money. But don’t worry, we’ll help you break free from this role and take charge of your own choices.

Drama Triangle Roles: The Rescuer – The Unsung Hero(ine)

Behold, the Rescuer, the wingman for every good Victim role. They are the self-appointed fixers of all problems. They swoop in like Joan of Arc, sacrificing their own well-being to save others. It’s a noble act, but beware of the pitfalls that come with playing the role of the eternal helper. I’ll teach you how to channel your rescuer energy in a healthier way and avoid burn out and resentment.

Drama Triangle Roles: The Persecutor – The Villain Strikes Back

Enter the Persecutor, stage left! The persecutor is the master of blame, domination, and control. With their intimidating tactics and snappy comebacks, they’re like the Darth Vader of toxic relationships. Don’t be tempted to join the dark side and I’ll show you how to resist their manipulative charms and maintain your own sense of power.

Tips for Staying Out of The Drama Triangle: Rewriting Your Script

Now that we’ve uncovered the drama triangle’s secret roles, it’s time to take control of your own script, scene, and act. Here are three mighty rewrites to keep you out of the tangled web of toxic drama:

1. Practice Self-reflection and Self-Awareness: Get to know yourself better than the drama triangle knows your next move. Reflect on your own behavior patterns, triggers, and vulnerabilities. Armed with self-awareness, you can break free from old patterns and forge healthier interactions.
2. Set Clear Boundaries: It’s time to put up some drama-resistant barriers. Set clear boundaries that define what you will and won’t accept in your relationships. Use assertive communication to express your needs without falling into the trap of blame and attack.
3. Improving Distress Tolerance Skills: When life throws ya curveballs, you’ll need some epic distress tolerance skills in your arsenal. Embrace mindfulness, deep breathing, visualization, and physical exercise to stay present and manage difficult emotions like a true thespian!

Conclusion: Rewrite Your Relationship Story

In the grand finale, using the above tips, you have the power to break free from the clutches of the drama triangle and rewrite your relationship story. By understanding the roles, practicing self-reflection, setting clear boundaries, and enhancing your distress tolerance skills, you can create healthier and more fulfilling connections. So, step into the spotlight, my friend, and let your drama-free journey begin!

Stay tuned for sequel blog helping you learn how to move into the healthier roles of The Empowerment Dynamic (TED*).

If you aren’t quite sure how to get and stay out of the drama triangle just yet, I got you covered! I’d be happy to support you by rehearsing with you how you can improve your relationships and stay out of toxic drama interactions. If you’re ready to invest in your future this way, take a look at my premium, integrative coaching services here. You can also check out more about my story (full of drama long ago!) at my website sbmftservices.com.