Introduction

Friends, imma just jump right into it here:  as a former eating disorder therapist, I’ve also has a history of severe body image issues and eating disorder behaviors. Shocking, right? LOL

My weight struggles and critical self-judgments began in my early teens, and persisted throughout my childbearing years but after those years, I felt really solid and accepting.

While a lot of eating disorder therapists have struggled with these issues themselves, I’d really thought most of that was long past and was shocked at the intensity with which they returned for me during menopause.

This blog is how I’m helping myself so I wanted to share in case anyone else could relate, so here’s my vulnerable truth.

4 Tips for Healing Body Judgment

These four tips are changes that have helped me in my relationship with my own body, its appearance, and the judgment around that appearance: 

1. Stop mirror checking & photo checking. Including at home as well as reflective surfaces in public. No good comes of this, and all sorts of negative results: ruminations, self-criticism, pre-occupations, etc. I just have to tell myself as lovingly as possible, “nope, we’re not doing that today.” 
2. Shift from how I look to how I feel from the body’s POV, not the mind’s judgments. Okay – this is soooo challenging but super effective. It requies me to quiet the mind and allow the body to speak to me more. I realize that, for the most part, my appearance or my weight doesn’t stop my body from doing what I enjoy. 
3. Old clothes that don’t fit are OUT, new clothes that fit my body properly are IN. Challenging the desire to categorize “thin clothes” is tough, but this just comes down to plain, good ol’ self-tending here. Letting go of the constant discomforts because my clothes don’t fit properly is a massive boon to my overall sense of comfort throughout the day, and helps me move toward body acceptance. 
4. Focus on how my body allows me to experience humanity. My weight and appearance has little to do with that. Orienting myself to the fact that my body is the avenue for receiving all the beauty of the world around me, physically and relationally, has been key. 

My History & How it’s Impacting Me

As a former CEDS, I’ll be honest and admit my embarrassment that menopause has throttled me back more than a little 💔. I didn’t realize those “thin ideal” beliefs and self-evaluations/judgments were still lurking in the shadows nor how powerfully they’d impact me still – but GURL, are they front and center right now! 😲

Five years into menopause (along with an achilles tendon injury and hip impingement), I just wasn’t prepared for what I’ve felt. 😥 The moments when the self-loathing & disgust at my body returned kinda undid me. Realizing I didn’t recognize myself in reflective surfaces felt disorienting. And I just felt intense shame over all of it. Giving myself the space to feel all that again, to mourn and feel the pain of its return – was a different process than earlier in my life. 

Unpacking the social conditioning (part of #4 above) is deep work but also very liberating. Realizing that my body is just a body – and a thinner body isn’t inherently more valuable – brings ultimate comfort and peace.

Other Helps

Along with the above behaviors and changes, relying on my closest loved ones helped me remember that “I’m more than my weight, size, shape, or appearance.” They love me regardless. For instance, my little grandson has NO experience of my body other than a loving Nana that holds space for him and comforts him. 

Let Me Know

If you’re struggling with any of these things, please know I see you 🥰. Our culture is so incredibly toxic when it comes to judging a woman’s body size, shape, weight, and appearance.  

You are good. You exist beautifully. Let that sink in.

Do you want support managing midlife changes in your body/body judgments? Just email me directly at sh*****@***********es.com as I’m ready to offer support. 

In Health & Wholeness ☯️,

Shannan